Who am I really? The true identity of the authentic “I”

MKE (3-4)

Please click link below to read my new blog post, and please feel free to leave comments under the post on my site (LivingToYourOwnBeat.com) I’d love to connect with you and get your feedback! (Again, leave comments after you click please) Also, I took a risk and included a poem I wrote. It’s at the end of the post…. Yikes!!! 😀



Creating a compelling vision


There is one quality which one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it.  — Napoleon Hill

A compelling vision with a clear purpose and a burning desire to make it happen can ignite a fire under you. It can keep you coming back to it and working toward it no matter what.

It compels you. It drives you. You want it so badly you can taste it. You cannot NOT work toward it.

It keeps you going when you are low on energy; when you don’t feel motivated.  

It enables you to stay committed to your purpose after experiencing difficult challenges, obstacles, and even painful disappointments. It is 


Notice I did not say a wish, a hope or even a dream. 

A wish or a hope won’t compel you to move forward when fears and obstacles show up. A wish or a hope won’t even keep you moving when you’re tired, low on energy, or out of your comfort zone. 

A vague dream won’t actually compel the persistence of action needed to make your dream a reality. 

And a vague desire won’t push you through your fears, obstacles and setbacks — unless it becomes clear, rock-solid, based on your values, and backed by 


And I don’t mean a luke-warm desire or even a hot desire. It must be a burning desire to compel you to take a leap of faith, dive headfirst into unknown territory, and to keep moving toward your purpose no matter what. 

Will you risk taking a running leap over a deep canyon full of hot lava and slay a fire-breathing, three-headed armored dragon with giant Freddy Krueger claws for a warm wish?

Probably not.  Click to Read More:   https://tinyurl.com/makeyourvisionburn (Please click link to read full article and leave me a comment on the article. Thank you! 🙂

Beauty without interference

Wow. That’s annoying, right?

That little clip is of “Radio Static Interference.”

Static. Interference.


I’ve been learning to treasure my mental space, my internal environment.

What do you do when you treasure something? You protect it. You give it priority.

I’ve done over 6 months of work to be in charge of my internal environment. I know how precious it is to respect and protect my mental space. It creates my mindset and my views and my way of thinking and my energy and impacts absolutely everything I do. My internal world creates my outer world, and my outer world reflects my inner.

“The world without is a reflection of the world within.”

Charles Haanel

When has protecting my inner world been more important than now?

It’s a challenging time for all of us. It’s more challenging for some than others, losing loved ones, working in health care, financial crises to name a few. For many of us, uncertainty is in every corner of our lives from our financial lives to our health to our loved ones and so much more.

And there are so many conflicting opinions out there in both social media and the traditional media.

There has never been more noise to get lost in as there is now!

It is so easy to get lost in an endless sea of opinions, judgements, fears, worries, theories and thoughts.

Most of all fears.

Whether the fears are about health, loved ones, finances, business, jobs, economy, our freedoms, or our social well-being and way of life.

However, NOW, more than ever, I see the importance of protecting my mental space.

We all decide for ourselves how much we want to take in. I want to be informed, so I take in some, and I research. However, I have to know when to stop. I have to know when listening to others is starting to cross a line into damaging the internal environment that I have intentionally created and continue to create.

I must have a STATIC ALERT.

I have a noise alert, a static alert, a muck alert, that I MUST pay attention to. I must not only pay attention to it, I must give it PRIORITY.

It’s not even a question. It is SO important. It is more important than ever that I develop a keen static alert that detects even low levels of static so that they don’t become the Static Interference in the video above.

Static Interference.

That’s what I pay attention to.

“Interference” is the descriptor that is SO important here.

So much of what is out there on the news, in the media, in my conversations with friends and loved ones, on my facebook…

is interference.

I don’t want to judge anyone’s opinions or thoughts or emotional processing, I just want to notice when it is interference in my own connection to Source.

My internal environment is SO PRECIOUS, SO IMPORTANT to my mental health, to creating my outer world and to my connection to Spirit.

I am not motivated to create, to add goodness to the world, to follow my inspiration and positive energy, when I am lost in fears, opinions, analyzation.

I have to stay attuned to my internal static alert and know when to turn off the outside noise, the interference. The interference with my connection to the best part of myself, the Universal Mind or God.

“Silence isn’t empty, it’s filled with answers.”

Buddha’s teaching

I must go into the silence even more now, even more that there is so much static, so much noise.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, “The more I clear my mind of negative thoughts, judgments, opinions, lingering emotions… the more I clear a path to access Source or Spirit, or Universal Mind or God.”


The Universal Mind, the divine, is accessed in the silence. When my conscious mind is quieted, this is when I connect with God or Universal Mind. The more I connect with Source, the more beauty, love, kindness and connection I create.

THAT will now be my connection, my link for the static. When my static alert goes off, when I start noticing that an internal line is being crossed and that the noise is interfering in my treasured internal space, I will think of beauty, love and kindness.

I will ask myself what beauty love and kindness I can create.

Maybe it is a loving gesture, a kindness or a compassion that I can put out. Maybe it is a compliment I can give. Maybe I can immediately act on an inspiration or an energy to work toward something that puts good into the world in some way. Maybe it is to work toward something that excites me. Maybe it is just a loving thought or a beautiful thought that I create within my mind.

Regardless what it is, when my static alert goes off, I will remove myself internally from the thoughts and fears that are interfering with my connection to Source and ask myself instead:

What beauty, love, or kindness can I create right now?

Love, kindness and beauty to you.

And please follow these incredible blogs:












Gratitude for gifts and callings

Feeling gratitude for healthcare providers, first responders, and all essential workers. Feeling grateful for their selflessness and humbled by the risks they take. In awe of their massive efforts, their sacrifices, and their dedication. Persisting in the face of long hours, horrible circumstances and emotional turmoil.

I can’t even find the right words to express gratitude for their selflessness.

Whenever I see stories about the healthcare workers right now, I become tearful. Seeing healthcare workers who are risking their own health and that of their families, the effort and stress they go through to try to keep their families safe and virus-free, the stress and emotional turmoil they are dealing with at work, and being overworked themselves, is heart-breaking. It is also awe-inspiring.

In many interviews I’ve seen recently, I’ve heard healthcare workers talk about their commitment to their work as a calling. They’ve mentioned feeling they’ve been called to their profession and naturally they will do whatever it takes, whatever is needed. 

That sense of calling has stuck in my mind.


I was watching Nightline a few evenings ago. Healthcare providers were featured who were from parts of the country not as badly affected by the pandemic, and were uprooting their lives to travel to New York and lend their services. 

One couple from Oklahoma answered a request for crisis travel nurses. They drove across the country to New York, not knowing what they’d be walking into. They were separated from each other, assigned to work overnight shifts in far corners of the city. 

Speaking about why they made this choice, the couple acknowledged that finances were one initial motivator, but underneath they felt a deeper calling. They mentioned that it was also “spiritual”, and one of them said “I feel it’s our responsibility to step up.”

Another Intensive Care nurse drove to New York from Pennsylvania leaving his two small children behind. He even slept in his rented SUV until the city could provide free housing. He choked back tears thinking about being away from his kids. But he also wanted to pass along a lesson to his children, saying “If you have the ability, you have the responsibility.” He also spoke about a sense of calling saying “The three months that I’m gone, would have paled in comparison to how I would have felt if I didn’t come and help.” 


These two stories stay with me. I am struck by their sense of calling, and their commitment to their calling.

Their words have stuck in my mind:

“I feel it’s our responsibility to step up.”


“If you have the ability, you have the responsibility.”

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about callings. Mission. Purpose. Gifts.

“The only gift is a portion of thyself.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

My Unique Purpose consists of my unique combination of gifts. My passions, interests, talents and desires all reflect my gifts. When I get quiet and connect to my intuition, when I connect to my Source; I know that anything I am drawn to — anything that makes my eyes light up when I talk about it, anything I’ve felt an internal desire to do or try or create or accomplish or work on — is one of my gifts.

And gifts are meant to be given.

Let me say that again.

Gifts are meant to be given.

It occurs to me that I am not meant to hold onto my gifts. Anything I feel drawn to, anything I feel inspired to do, anything I have a desire to do or am naturally good at (often we are not even aware of those), are part of my calling.

“If God gives you something you can do, why in God’s name wouldn’t you do it?”

Stephen King

I heard it said in the MKE course that

The meaning of life is to find our gifts. The purpose is to give them away.


If I have the ability, I have the responsibility.

This doesn’t just apply to doctors and nurses and other healthcare providers. This applies to me.

It is my belief that this applies to us all.

I wouldn’t be given a desire, a talent, an inspiration if it wasn’t a gift, and if that gift weren’t meant to be given. Maybe,

It’s my responsibility to step up.

Let me say that to myself again.

It’s my responsibility to step up.

What would stepping up look like for me? What would it look like to FULLY step into my purpose, to fully live my unique combination of gifts and to put them out there regularly?

What are your gifts? What is your unique combination of gifts, or your purpose?

What would stepping up look like for you?

What was that other quote that stuck in my mind and in my heart?

“The three months that I’m gone, would have paled in comparison to how I would have felt if I didn’t come and help.” 

How would I feel if I DON’T give my gifts?

I would I feel if I DON’T even try?

How would I feel if I DON’T give away as much of my unique combinations of gifts as possible?

How would I feel if I die with my music still inside?

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

Maya Angelou

I’d feel like the man who knew he would regret it if he DIDN’T go and help in New York. I’d feel like he would feel if he DIDN’T give that message, or that gift, to his children.

Knowing what I know now… that my gifts are my purpose and that my purpose is to give my gifts

I’d feel a wrench in my heart, a gash in my soul, a rip in my insides — knowing I didn’t give every effort to give my gifts.

My gifts are meant to be given.

I’d better get going, and get giving!

*Other great blogs I follow by other Master Keyers:












Masterkey Experience Week 24

I love this post. This is beautiful and so pertinent. I love her conclusion, and I love the idea of going within and asking what I can offer at this time, because I am here for a purpose. Going to do that now…

Stargazer to Dragon Slayer

Tomorrow’s Bloom


What a perfect scroll to be in for today. Celebrating our uniqueness in this time, right now, as nature’s greatest miracle.

We , indeed, are not on this earth by chance during this time. What does that mean for us who have developed our character through the MKMMA habits?

What a perfect time to increase our knowledge of mankind. As the observer, there is certainly a lot to observe in the behaviours of men during this time.

Two political sides fighting like children when they should be uniting in the face of this most historical moment.

Some people going out of their way for others, while others take more than their share.



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Observing true nature (MKE week 24)

It’s the last week of our 6 month course, the Master Key Experience (MKE) and Mastermind Group!

So sad for the course to end, but many of us will be in touch, many of us will continue to mastermind with each other, and many of us will continue to be involved with the experience and with next year’s experience.

The readings, the webinars, the lessons, the homework, the habits we’ve developed, the mastermind groups, the mastermind partners, the founders of the MKE, the guides… all the learning and positivity that has been packed into 6 months has been nothing short of AMAZING.

It is difficult to explain. Now I understand why when I watched those videos early on of people saying this experience is “life changing” — now I understand what they were talking about — even though I can’t express it in any compact way.

This has been LIFE CHANGING.

That sounds vague, but it encompasses so much. I’ve been told by other coaches that I am different than I was, and that my coaching has exploded to another powerful level.

I will never be the same again.

Now for the themes and lessons of the week:

One more reason to observe our thoughts…

One of the lessons and themes I’ve talked about in prior posts is that of being a nonjudgmental observer. Noticing my own thoughts. Observing them. Noticing my own judgments or opinions. Using the law of substitution to change my mental state. (The mind cannot focus on two opposing emotions or thoughts in the same moment.) We’ve put forth mental effort to be very intentional and vigilant about noticing our opinions or judgments and refraining from putting them out there into the world. This frees up our own mental state and energy. I’ve become very protective of my mental environment and I don’t want a lot of “noise” blocking me from reaching my core, or interrupting the chance to connect with Spirit or Universal Mind. I also don’t want to add to the noise out there for other people, and I don’t want to add to other people’s cement. (This references a story of a golden Buddha statue that was covered in cement. The cement represents anything external that we might have taken as our own such as societal and cultural expectations or beliefs. The story is based on a real golden Buddha https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Buddha_(statue))

However, this week we also looked more deeply at another reason to be vigilant about being the nonjudgmental observer. Another reason to become an observer of my own processes and my own thoughts is because the observer can often influence the very thing that is being observed! Take a look at some of the material out there on “observer effect.” In short, this is the theory that the observation of a phenomenon can change that phenomenon. There are many examples of this from social psychology to computer programing to physics, such as when an electron is “seen,” the path of that electron is actually changed. (We watched a cool videos about particles that I can’t even begin to explain.)

The point is that there is some evidence that mere observation can change outcome. And there is some support for the concept that when we observe ourselves, including our behavior patterns and thoughts, the observation alone can contribute to change in the pattern or the thoughts. So merely observing thoughts that go through my mind, without judgment, may contribute to me changing the pattern of my thoughts in a positive way!

Focus on noticing our true nature…

One of the things we observed this week is our own true nature, as well as the nature of anything else. Since what we focus on expands, when I observe myself being true to my own nature, and when I observe anything else being true to its nature, my tendency to be true to my nature grows and expands. (For several weeks now we have focused on a virtue or trait we would like to amplify on ourselves and noticed this trait in ourselves as well as in others, as a way of helping ourselves expand that trait.)

Why do I want to expand my ability to be true to my nature? That goes back to last week’s post (and others) and the Law of Least Effort. Because when I am in Harmony with the Universe, when I am in touch with Spirit/God/Intuition, when I am acting from my true desires or gifts, when I am true to my nature — life flows more easily, there is less struggle, and I am actually more effective in my life. (See the story of Og, the Law of Least Effort or the metaphor of Row, Row, Rowing your boat! https://myjourney2blackbeltliving.wordpress.com/2020/03/21/727/)

I definitely want to increase being true to my own nature and acting from my true gifts! So, just as I focused on other traits in previous weeks, such as the trait of courage or the trait of self-discipline, this week I also focused on noticing when living things (people, animals, plants) are true to their nature. Here are some of the things I observed:


One of the easiest to notice was my dog, Kipper. It’s easy to observe my dog being true to his nature, because he always is. In fact, all animals are true to their nature. Never do they try to be anything that they’re not, never are they confused about what their true nature might be. I observed my dog trying to engage me in a game of chasing him with a toy around the table, even though he just took an hour long walk and I thought he should be exhausted. It is in his nature to be playful and try to engage me in play no matter how much exercise he’s had. I observed him doing whatever he thinks will get him food; bark, sit quietly and look cute, bop me with his nose… because it’s in his nature to do whatever he can for food.

Younger teenager

While sheltering in place, I’ve observed my kids being true to their nature. My younger teenage son has been playing video games with friends online (obviously he can’t do this in person), but he naturally takes breaks from this absorbing himself in a text book on screenwriting and jotting down plot and character development ideas. When he needs a break, he watches a great movie or show to see how everything he just learned about screenwriting applies to the show. And, he occasionally teaches himself piano on his keyboard. It is amazing to observe him being true to his nature and his gifts. You see, in second grade, he decided he no longer wanted to be a concert pianist, because he wanted to be a writer. That one stuck. He has liked games, creating music, and most of all writing, ever since.

Older teenager

While stuck at home my older teenage son has been doing pull-ups and core exercises, texting with friends, and having long 2 and 3 hour deep conversations with his mom! He takes breaks from these activities by acting silly and slap-happy, play fighting and pestering his mom and younger brother. This has been awesome to observe because he’s been very physical for a long time, and he has always been a deep thinker. Friends of mine called him an old soul when he was very young because he was extremely perceptive, observant and wise. It wasn’t uncommon for him to throw out an observation that blew everyone away and seemed like it should have come from an adult. And it’s been so wonderful to see him acting silly like just like that little kid who used to talk in funny voices and make funny faces in the mirror! (Don’t tell him I told you. :D)


Photo by Patrick Hendry on Unsplash

I’ve also observed my partner being true to his nature. As a long-time martial artist and a personal trainer, he is extremely physical and loves living through his physical body. He is also deeply spiritual and compassionate, and from the stories I’ve heard, he’s been that way since he was an adolescent. (He thought about becoming a pastor.) Well, his way of sheltering in place is to get up at the crack of dawn so he can keep his social distance while he exercises in the park. He’s been finding creative ways to work out several times a day and taking long meditative walks. (His preferred method of mediating is to take daily 30 mile bike rides through trails at super-human speeds, but that is not an option as he is recovering from an injury.) He takes breaks from this by compassionately and empathically responding to others on facebook and reaching out to people in supportive ways. I love to observe him being true to his nature by being supportive, loving, spiritual and compassionate as well as insanely physical.

What a pleasure to watch my loved ones being true to their nature. As I’ve been on on a journey to gain more clarity about my true nature and learn what my gifts are over the course of this Master Key Experience, I observe myself while sheltering at home. How I’ve been true to my nature at this time?


What have I noticed myself doing or engaging in while sheltering at home?

After spending all that time engaging with my family, I have thrown myself into projects to develop my business as a coach and an author. I’ve noticed that I’ve had to discipline myself to begin projects such as working on the proposal for my book, but once I am engaged, I am enlivened by the creative process. When a creative idea comes to me through a meditation, I’ve felt compelled to draw it as a flow chart in my journal – or my book of ideas, development, quotes, images and things that are important to me. I find myself adding colors that symbolize concepts for me. I found myself getting out colored pencils and pastels for this. I find myself listening to audio books that further my spiritual development. I’ve been sharing my experiences and creative projects with new mastermind partners through Marco Polo (a video messaging app) and through mutual coaching sessions with fellow coaches. I’ve been connecting with friends and family and re-establishing some old connections. I take breaks from my projects by going on long walks, and interacting with my doggy.

Oh, and filming martial arts videos with my partner. 😀

How are these behaviors indicative of my true nature and my gifts?

It’s easier for me to observe my loved ones and connect their behaviors to how they were as children (or puppies). How does my way of social distancing represent who I was as a child?

Well, before the internet (yes I’m revealing my age) I would write long notes back and forth with friends. Once email came out, I loved writing my thoughts out in an email and sharing them back and forth with friends, which is probably why I now enjoy blogging. I kept journals at a young age and as I look back, I realize that I always worked out my thoughts through either journaling, writing back and forth with friends, or doing some creative projects that I found soothing. I can see now that how I am spending my sheltered time right now is not too far off from what I did as a kid. I am writing thoughts, being creative, and clarifying thoughts through writing and through creating visuals which I still find both soothing, and invigorating. It soothes me to work on projects like this — to “color,” and create images. It also energizes me and adds “aliveness” to my life. When I’ve done a project, even if it’s just describing my business ideas by drawing and coloring a flow chart that came to me in a meditation, I feel excited and alive and stimulated, as well as soothed! After reading my first “self-help” book as a teenager, I also wanted to one day write some sort of book.

What else do I notice about my recent behaviors and who I was as a child?

Since I discovered “spiritual” concepts when I was an adolescent, I have been intrigued, inspired, fascinated and invigorated by them. I would say that my introduction to positive spiritual concepts probably began when reading Jonathon Livingston Seagull as an adolescent, which remains one of my all-time favorite books. The readings in the course and the meditating have been deeply fulfilling and energizing for me.

All of us

It is my belief that fundamentally, underneath everything, the true nature of all of us is spiritual. Our true nature, at our core, is Divine. It is Universal Mind, it is God. Our individual gifts are our unique expressions of the multiple facets of God. We are individuations of The Divine. We are individual expressions of the many unique facets of God. Underneath that, we are all Spirit. We are connected; we are one.

From my personal viewpoint, that is a humongous underlying take-away from the course. Other people may word that differently. Those are the words that appeal to me. Other people have different major take-aways. I can’t begin to write down the thousands of take-aways from the course. But for me, this affirmation of what I know at my core, underlies and supports all of the other wonderful learnings.

We are all connected. We are all God at our core.

Peace, harmony, wellness, health, beauty and love to the world right now as we go through this and find ways to support each other, serve each other and love each other.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Rowing downstream (MKE week 23)

Again, many thoughts and themes swirling through my mind from last week’s webinar, the readings, my meditations and masterminds. Of course so much of this is in relation to what’s going on in the world. I still have so many thoughts about going within and and knowing and acting from what’s true for me, as I wrote about last week. I’m also thinking about a theme from our most recent fabulous webinar; The Law of Least Effort, and how that relates to my gifts and how I can serve.

The Law of Least Effort, taken from Deepak Chopra’s wonderful book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, is about being in tune with Spirit, being in harmony and going with the flow or what we’re called to do. It’s about acceptance of what is, taking responsibility without blaming, and letting go of attachments or defenses about our views. Actually acting on our dreams, following our bliss, or taking the road less traveled can seem like the most difficult path to take. However, it ultimately requires less energy, less effort, less “trying,” less strife and less personal toil and toll than NOT following our bliss.

Yes, I know, that can seem unbelievable at times. But ultimately true.

I can’t quit thinking of the story that was told about the author of a book we’ve been reading every single day, by Og Mandino.

The story of Og

Photo by Jordy Chapman on Unsplash

Here’s the short version.

Og planned to go to college for journalism, but his mother suddenly died of a massive heart attack, while in the kitchen preparing his lunch. Instead, he took time to work in a paper factory. He then joined the US Army Air Corps where he became a bomber pilot. After this, he had a difficult time getting a job, as few companies were hiring bomber pilots, so he got a job selling insurance.

On the road selling insurance, Og would sit in the bars at night and he became an alcoholic. Because of his alcoholism, he had trouble keeping jobs. His first wife and child left him due to his drinking. One morning, he came very close to taking his own life.

Instead of ending his life, he followed an intuition to go to the library. At the library, he found himself attracted to books on self-help, motivation and success. He started studying them. He went to more libraries. He studied more. His studies began to help divert him from his alcoholism. He was particularly influenced by W. Clement Stone’s classic, Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude. He was also very influenced by Napoleon Hill (who was influenced by Charles Haanel and the Master Key System) and Emmet Fox. All of these authors and thought leaders became associated with the New Thought movement.

Following his studies and battles with alcoholism, Og wrote The Greatest Salesman in the World, first published in 1968, and went on to write more books. His books have now sold over 50 million copies and have been translated to over 25 languages.

The Greatest Salesman in the world is known for it’s scrolls which are designed to build positive mental habits when read and thought about several times per day. The book is applicable to any goal or desire, not just being a salesman by profession. It’s been an amazing part of my journey recently and our journey through the course.

When someone is On Purpose… when someone is tuned into Spirit/God/Universal Mind and acting solely from that place… when someone is doing exactly what he or she is meant to be doing at the moment he/she is meant to be doing it… when someone is in Harmony with Universal Mind and completely engaged in that thing that speaks to him, that thing that calls him or makes his eyes light up or makes him lose track of time without any thought or worry about how the world views his endeavors… then Life Flows. There is Effortlessness. There is Ease.

Self-discipline, action

I’m not saying there is never a need for self discipline in this scenario. One may have to rely on self discipline to get himself back to what he feels inspired to do. But the point is that the overall energy expended when one is in the flow, when one is in harmony with the Divine, when one is on purpose… is LESS than the energy that must be expended when one is not in tune, not in harmony, or trying to “make oneself” do what he thinks he has to do.

When Og was simply trying to get a job, as he must have thought he had to do, there was an underlying misery. When we are trying hard to “motivate” ourselves because we are not actually aligned with what is naturally easy or exciting or attractive to us, then success requires much energy and effort. The side effects are often finding ways to numb, to check out, to escape. This takes place through addictions to alcohol, drugs, food, Netflix, video games, etc.

I’m not saying those things are bad. I’m saying we can get sucked into them as a way to escape a subconscious knowing that we are not on track. However, many people (myself included) are not even aware that they aren’t aware. We are doing what we think we are supposed to. We are doing what we’ve been taught. We are “being realistic.” It was mentioned in our Mastermind class that Society “attacks” us from the time we are young. We are “attacked” by fear and ideas about what we should and shouldn’t be doing in the world, by culture and society.

When we follow inspiration, when we follow the energy, when we discover our gifts and become actively engaged in giving them away… life flows more easily.

Again, I’m not saying we never have to inject self discipline. I’m saying that it is actually easier in the long run to be in harmony with Spirit/God and to act on those things that others may tell us are “unrealistic,” impossible, require too much effort, are unlikely, silly are a waste of time or ridiculous; than it is to subconsciously push down our real desires or bliss and eventually die with our music still in us.

When Og was doing what was normal, finding a job to pay the bills, denying his calling and his inspiration to write; he became an alcoholic, lost family members, and almost killed himself.

When Og followed his intuition into the library, read the books that called to him, and followed his desire and gift of writing, his life flowed. He influenced billions of people over time in a positive way. His impact was tremendous. And THAT was actually easier than stuffing it all down and NOT following his destiny, and paying the toll.

Photo by Marko Balažic on Unsplash

Deepak Chopra’s Law of Least Effort

So how to put the Law of Least Effort to use in our own lives? First, I believe for me the answer is to meditate, go within, and learn what my gifts are, what I love doing or what I feel called to do, and then to become so actively engaged in those things that I am acting from Spirit or God rather than ego. (The ego seeks external validation, approval or recognition, acting from inspiration or being in harmony with The Universe does not.)

The other components of the Law of Least Effort as written about by Deepak Chopra:

  1. Acceptance

I will practice Acceptance. Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances, and events as they occur. I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be. I will not struggle against the whole universe by struggling against this moment. My acceptance is total and complete. I accept things as they are in this moment, not as I wish they were.

2. Responsibility

Having accepted things as they are, I will take Responsibility for my situation and for all those events I see as problems. I know that taking responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for my situation (and this includes myself). I also know that every problem is an opportunity in disguise, and this alertness to opportunities allows me to take this moment and transform it into a greater benefit.

3. Defenselessness

Today my awareness will remain established in Defenselessness. I will relinquish the need to defend my point of view. I will feel no need to convince or persuade others to accept my point of view. I will remain open to all points of view and not be rigidly attached to any one of them. 

I’ve talked about those concepts in prior posts, especially my last post. I am now saying these affirmations or commitments to myself every day and this helps keep me in the flow, engaging the Law of Least Effort.

I was lucky enough to hear Wayne Dyer speak a few times before he died. I remember him talking about the song “Row, row, row your boat.” He said that this simple song is a song of deep spiritual meaning and wisdom. He pointed out that the song doesn’t say “Row your boat UP the stream.” No, it says to go with the flow, go with the Universal Energy.

“Row, row row YOUR boat

Photo by David Straight on Unsplash

Notice that Dr. Dyer also points out that the song encourages you to row YOUR boat. Not anyone else’s boat! It’s up to you to row your own boat, to follow your own inspiration, to be uniquely who you are. Remember as Og says “You are a Unique Creation of Nature.

Row YOUR boat and nevermind what anyone else is doing in their boat!

Other people’s boats are none of my business! I am engaged in rowing my own boat!

gently DOWN the stream”

Again, the song does not say to struggle and work to row your boat UP stream! It says to go with the flow, go with the Universal Energy, be in tune with Spirit, in harmony with the Universal Mind and row GENTLY!

The song does NOT say that you must STRUGGLE or that life must be a struggle. It doesn’t say you should make it hard by rowing upstream for no reason. It says to go with the flow of the stream and row gently. (Law of Least Effort!)

Merrily, merrily, merrily merrily

And have fun doing it! Row your boat with JOY! Merrily go with the flow and row your boat downstream with joy! Follow your bliss! Follow your inspiration! Be in the moment! Be fully engaged! And be thankful for the flow!!!

“Row, row, row”

Wait a minute, that was already said, right? Let’s go back to that for a second.

Not only does it tell you to row YOUR boat. Not only does is say to row GENTLY. Not only does it say to row DOWN the stream… the first thing it says is:


I DO have to row!!!!

I’ll also point out that although it says to row the boat downstream, be in the flow, be in the Universal Energy, go with the Universal Mind, there IS some rowing involved!

Action is still required. Just not the taxing and mostly futile action of rowing Upstream!

I still gotta row!!!!

I’m not just closing my eyes Willy-Nilly, blindfolding myself, lifting my hands in the air and saying “Wheeeeee” while the boat is slammed into rocks, flies over rapids and is overturned.


Yes, I row GENTLY. Yes I row DOWNSTREAM. Yes I row MERRILY.


I still do take action. I follow up on that inspiration, that inclination, that energy that calls me.

I row my OWN boat and not anyone else’s boat.

Ideally, I pay no attention to what the person up the river or down the river is doing in his own boat. I am lost in my own activities, taking in the beauty of my own journey, oblivious to that person in that boat over there who may be hurling criticisms or judgments or fears at my boat. I don’t get caught up with the person in the boat upstream who is telling me all the reasons my path will lead to my demise and that I should in fact be following him up the stream.

I go with the stream gently; I don’t try to fight an upstream battle against nature, against God, or against my own true nature.

But I row.

But that rowing is actually easier in the long run, than rowing upstream or not rowing at all.

AND, I can give more to the world when I do this. I have an obligation to do this. I have gifts and desires and inspirations for a reason. And that is to give them away.

I don’t have them so that I can push them farther down to my subconscious and bury them under food (binge eating), partying, Netflix or “busy-ness.” (Again, those things are OK for me, but in moderation.)

I’m not meant to die with my music still inside.

Following inspiration, accepting what is, being responsible for myself, recognizing the beauty and perfection in people’s journey and the world’s journey, and letting defensiveness go … actually requires LESS effort in the long run. It takes less of a toll to follow inspiration, than to ignore it.

But it still does require me to act. It still does require some self-discipline.

It still requires me to row.

That being said, I commit to interjecting some discipline to keep myself on my path.

I row.

But, I recognize acting on my inspirations is ultimately easier, more fulfilling, and just more fun than not. And that’s how I give to the world and am of service.

From my boat, I’m also asking myself how I can act on inspiration and be of service during this pandemic, and committing to follow up on ideas and inspirations. XOXO

Photo by Jordan Bauer on Unsplash

*Also take a look at these other great blogs posts by a few of my fellow Master Keyers:












Go within, be myself 100% (MKE Week 22a)

So many things last week, right? No matter where you are in the world. Doing my coursework; my meditations, my readings, my masterminding… a few themes kept rising to the surface that all involved knowing and acting from my truth. This was especially timely as I found myself going within in order to know what I thought about the pandemic. In the early days of this, I wanted to do research, and then to go within to know what I thought about all this, and what I knew for me was the right thing to do. In the first few days I found this not to be easy, as there were so many opinions out there. The themes that were coming up repeatedly in my readings were so fitting and helpful to get me through this — and to know how I wanted to handle it.

For me, those themes were:

-Go within. (Sit/meditate. A knowing will come.)

-Be absolutely 100% true to myself. Don’t shove myself (and definitely not my opinions or my judgments- that I try to keep to a minimum) down any one else’s throat. But be absolutely true to myself and my inner knowing.

-Let go of any attachments to anyone seeing my point of view, seeing my truth, or even understanding who I am or what my inner knowing is. What anyone else sees or knows or believes or understands is none of my business.

-My inner knowing can change. That’s okay.

-Know that everyone else is perfect and whole and beautiful exactly as they are exactly in this moment in time. Know that the world is perfect and beautiful and growing exactly as it needs to be in this moment in time, if not yet complete in its journey.

-Destiny/purpose/meaning/dharma is intricately tied to going within, and with being 100% true to myself.

-There is no need for external validation, recognition or approval.

Go within

Yoga Pose Meaning Poses Harmony And Feeling

The prior week it was suggested in my course that we schedule a 48 hour sit or meditation! Okay, it doesn’t have to be a straight 48 hours of meditation. We are welcome to sleep, eat, exercise and take walks in nature. But the goal is to schedule a 2 day meditation retreat.

When I heard about this I was SO EXCITED!!! Isn’t that fabulous and amazing? At the start of this course, almost 6 months ago, would I have thought that I’d be excited to take 2 full days to meditate? NO! I would’ve thought you were crazy if you would’ve told me I’d be excited to do that. But as I listened to the assignment in the course, I was eager with anticipation! I had tears in my eyes because I KNEW I would get exactly from it whatever I need. And how could I know this? Because I’ve practiced.

Not as regularly as I’ve liked. I’ve missed a few days of meditating. But I now know the value. I know that the sit, or meditation or gowing within, is where the answers are to be found to just about any question. I know that’s where I find myself and my future self, and God. I know that’s where I connect with the part of myself that is of God.

I know I will get whatever I need.

It was hard to schedule my meditation retreat, around working regularly in martial arts, shifts I’d taken for others, my own pet business any day of the week, and having my kids 50% of the time. (Of course all that has changed and everything is up in the air now.) But I have some time scheduled that I may be able to go away and be alone (who knows?), or I can do it in my house. But SO excited for this!

Be absolutely 100% true to myself

After taking something to a sit, I find that I usually know how I feel about it. Or I know what I want to do. Or I know what I want. Or I know what I feel I know. Whatever the case may be. From there, as I take this inner knowing back to the world, I have to be true to that. I have to act on that.

I don’t want to shove my opinions down anyone else’s throat. I firmly believe that we are all here to get in touch with our own knowing and to think and feel and make decisions for ourselves. But I want to make sure I am acting from my own truth, my own feelings, my own knowing, and not then being swayed or influenced by others or by others’ approval or acceptance. It is my goal to recognize and be aware of these moments when I might be tempted to go along with the majority, and continue coming back to myself. Again, this doesn’t have to be loud; it can be quiet. I don’t have to get anyone to agree with me.

“Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“You will manifest greatness only when you begin to stand alone.”

Wallace Wattles

This doesn’t mean that I have to be a loud/in your face kind of nonconformist. It DOES mean I think for myself. It DOES mean I go within and know what is right for me. It DOES mean I then try to act on that knowing.

Let go of any attachments

This is worth restating:

Let go of attachments to anyone seeing my point of view, seeing my truth, or even understanding who I am or what my inner knowing is. What anyone else sees or knows or believes or understands is none of my business.

I am reminding myself to act from my truth, but to give up attachments to whether any one else sees, understands, believes or agrees with my truth. That is their business. I respect all humans as having the capacity to go within and discover their own truths.

“What others think about you is none of your business.”

Jack Canfield

“What other people think of you is not your business. If you start to make that business your business, you will be offended for the rest of your life.”

Deepak Chopra

“Mind your own business. It is no part of your mission in life to correct people’s morals, habits, or practices. Lead a great life, doing all things with a great spirit and in a great way; give to him that asketh of thee as freely as ye have received, but do not force your help or your opinions upon any man.”

Wallace Wattles

“Do not meddle with the personal habits and practices of others, though they are your nearest and dearest; these things are none of your business.”

Wallace Wattles

My inner knowing can change

That’s okay.

“Speak what you think now in hard words, and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict everything you said today. — ‘Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.’ — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood:… To be great is to be misunderstood.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson


“…live ever in a new day.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I aim to live every day in the moment and speak what is true for me now. Rigid adherence to what I remember about what I said yesterday for the sake of consistency is not true authenticity. Live each moment from what is in my heart and soul.

“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Know that everyone else is perfect and whole and beautiful

Everyone and everything is perfect for where it is at this moment in time. I know that’s a hard one, but at some level I do believe it is true. During moments in meditation I get the sense that all is perfect and what it is supposed to be. So we are who we are supposed to be. We, or the world, may not yet be complete but we are were we are supposed to be at this moment.

All of us.

I can’t find it in writing, but I attended a talk by Marianne Williamson once and I remember her saying that she tells her daughter (she was probably young then) something like “Never forget that YOU are a child of God. And so is everyone else.”

What that left me with was to recognize and act from my own greatness, my own oneness with God; don’t play small; and know that every other person is also a child of God, and has greatness within.

“Think of yourself as a perfect being among perfect beings, and meet every person as an equal, not as either a superior or an inferior.”

Wallace Wattles


“Remember that every person is perfect on his own plane; you cannot improve on the work of God.”

Wallace Wattles

My purpose depends on being 100% true to myself

“All men are my brothers yet I am different from each. I am a unique creature. I am nature’s greatest miracle…

None can duplicate my brush strokes, none can make my chisel marks, none can duplicate my handwriting, none can produce my child, and, in truth, none has the ability to sell exactly as I. Henceforth, I will capitalize on this difference for it is an asset to be promoted to the fullest…

I will begin now to accept my differences; hide my similarities…

I am a unique creation of nature.”

Og Mandino

And, to our latest reading of Og:

“Today I control my destiny, and my destiny is to become the greatest salesman in the world.”

Og Mandino

When I read that at the end of the scroll, it plants a seed. “What is my unique destiny?”

In the story, his is to become the greatest salesman in the world. I think Og’s was slightly different, slightly more unique. I always leave the scroll with these thoughts.

As Og writes “I am a unique creation of nature.” So,

“What is my unique destiny?”

” What are my unique gifts? What is it my purpose to give away?”

Recently in the Master Key course it was said that “The meaning of life is to find your your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.”

I like that. Discovering my gifts helps me find my purpose. I have something unique to contribute. How do I discover my unique gifts?

I had a coaching business for years that focused on Personal Branding. I spoke and facilitated workshops that focused on helping people define their personal brand based on their authentic values, passions and talents. (Feel free to contact me if you want to discuss any of that material.)

However, what helps me most with this now is simply going within. Going within, meditating, connecting with The Universal Mind/God/Spirit is how I discover. In fact, I expect that I will gain more clarity about this when I do my extended sits, my meditation retreat that I am so excited about! I will ask for clarity about my gift, my purpose, my message. Not just then, but in other sits as well.

I am so moved when I see people who seem to be truly on purpose in life. When they seem to be doing exactly what they should be doing — not “should” be doing by anyone else’s standards — but being exactly who they are and giving their gifts or their message to the world in everything they do.

To live truly on purpose I must be 100% myself. Period.

There is no need for external validation, recognition or approval

I want to catch myself every time I notice myself wanting or wishing for any type of external validation, approval or recognition. All that matters is going within and living from within; acting from my truth. I mean, if I am a child of God, If I am connected with Infinite Spirit, why would I go anywhere else for answers? Again, what anyone else thinks of me is none of my business.

“Ask no honors and seek for no recognition”

Wallace Wattles

“All that is necessary is to be guided absolutely, in all things, by your inner light, your perception of truth. Obey your soul, have perfect faith in yourself. Never think of yourself with doubt or distrust, or as one who makes mistakes. “If I judge, my judgment is just, for I seek not honor from men, but from the Father only.”

Wallace Wattles

“Dismiss all thought of reliance on externals, whether things, books, or people.

Wallace Wattles

Furthermore, we are happier beings when we are not dependent on externals for recognition or for validation.

The subject of internal vs external validation has been a subject in psychology and internal validation and motivation has been linked to long-term effectiveness and to happiness.

If I look back over my life and remember a time when I was seeking some type of reward or appreciation or recognition for some sort of achievement, and then didn’t get it, what kinds of feelings did that bring up? Not good ones, even if the feelings were short-lived. What about the times in my life when I was SO focused on what I was doing, that I didn’t even care if anyone recognized it, saw it, approved of it, or validated it? When I am incredibly focused on what I am doing, when I am living in the moment and aligned with purpose or my true self… NOTHING ELSE MATTERS!

How cool is that? I want to live from THAT PLACE more and more often. I want to live from the place where I am acting from my soul and engaged in the moment and engaged in what I want to be doing, totally unaware of whether others recognize or approve.

THAT is an incredible place to be and to live!

“Stop looking outside for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security or love — you have treasure within that is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer.”

Eckhart Tolle

“The priveledge of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”

Carl Jung
Image by bluebudgie from Pixabay

*Also take a look at these other great blogs posts by a few of my fellow Master Keyers:












Overwhelm, unworthiness and fire power! (MKE Week 22)

Gratitude is always a hugely important part of my week and my days. It is coming up BIG TIME this week. 

Love and prayers and a quick shout-out to Nashville and central TN. My heart has been broken for all of Nashville and central TN, and I have also been keenly aware of how fortunate I’ve been. My tenants and house are good, the tornado having whizzed by within a mile. I am heartbroken about the losses there, and am sending love and prayers to the area. I also recognize that I’ve been extremely fortunate. The sheer proximity has reminded me to be even more grateful for the cities and areas I love and the communities that make them great. I hear that people there are showing many kindnesses by rolling up their sleeves and helping each other out and supporting one another and rebuilding. 

So, gratitude has been a huge theme for me this week. Last week, I talked about using some negative emotions, such as fear and overwhelm, as tools for expanding my comfort zone. This week in the Master Key Course, we learned many additional examples of how negative emotions can be used as tools. That brings me back to gratitude. I aim to be in a state of gratitude as much as possible, even when seemingly negative events or situations or emotions have occurred. 

I know it gets into controversial areas, but I’ve previously talked about being grateful for EVERYTHING, recognizing that I can’t always know or see how an event or occurrence might be beneficial to me or someone else. I know that some things in life are so horrific, it’s hard to imagine any kind of silver lining or positive effect. However, I still believe that the seed of something good for me or my growth is within everything that occurs in my world. Sometimes I may not be able to see it for quite awhile. A few situations, I don’t see it for years. But I know it’s there. 

“All conditions and experiences that come to us do so for our benefit. Difficulties and obstacles will continue to come until we absorb their wisdom and gather from them the essentials of further growth.”

Charles Haanel

Furthermore, I know to be grateful for all my seemingly negative emotions as well as the situations that give rise to them initially, because I know that they are opportunities in disguise. 

“I have been given eyes to see and a mind to think and now I know a great secret of life, for I perceive, at last, that all my problems, discouragements, and heartaches are, in truth, great opportunities in disguise. I will no longer be fooled by the garments they wear for mine eyes are open. I will look beyond the cloth and I will not be deceived.”

Og Mandino

I experience an emotion, feel it, and then I decide what to do with it. The first thing I decide to do with it is to be grateful for it. I know, I know… how can I realistically be grateful for a feeling such as fear, anger, hurt feelings, guilt or unworthiness? I’m starting to actually be able to do that, and to do it more readily and quickly than in the past. I KNOW these feelings pass through me and can be used for growth. They can be used for good. If it is difficult to muster gratitude, I think of all those times that I was able to see growth from my experience sometime after it occurred, even years later. I’m not perfect at this, but getting better. I trust now, that The Universe has my back. 

So, how can feelings such as fear, guilt, anger, hurt and unworthiness be used for good? 

As mentioned last week, we had been thinking about how we can use them as tools to expand our comfort zones. I know they can be tools. However… here’s another mental shift… They are also COMPONENTS of my comfort zones!!! 


Emotions such as these can be viewed as part of the comfort zones when we do what most of us have mostly done… tried to avoid them. When we feel them but then look for distractions and things to take ourselves out of them, without looking at the messages they bring, without looking at the opportunities for learning, without looking at the opportunities for growth and expansion, without recognizing our chance to take them and become better, stronger, deeper, more fulfilled, or richer people… then they can serve to keep us in the cycle of comfort and familiarity. When I numb, medicate, eat, drink, or otherwise stuff these emotions without appreciating them, I avoid them in order to stay comfortable. I’m not expanding my comfort zone. I’m not growing and expanding as I am meant to do on this earth, as a “creature of God” as one of nature’s greatest miracles. Furthermore, this stuffing or avoidance leads to more feelings of inadequacy because I know deep down, that I am choosing to maintain the status quo, rather than to grow and expand my capacity for fulfillment.  

There is so much awesome material in the mastermind course about how every one of these feelings can also be used as tools to EXPAND our comfort zones. I’ll talk about one. Last week, I talked a lot about overwhelm. I looked at overwhelm as a signal that I need to stop, and like a light on the dashboard of my car, look under the hood and examine what I may need to alter and then move forward. Take the overwhelm into a sit or a meditation, see what needs tweaking (or oiled or replaced or cleaned up) and then CONTINUE MOVING FORWARD. I took it as a reminder that I want to continue moving forward on those BIG goals that bring on the overwhelm. 

This week, I’m diving even deeper into that one, as I learned that overwhelm is tied to feelings of unworthiness. 


Overwhelm is intricately tied to feeling unworthy.  

How is that? 

If I am feeling overwhelmed with a million things on my plate, if I am overloading my plate, if I am feeling stuck by the millions of tasks, choices, options, goals and passions that I’ve loaded up on my own plate — then I am wiggling the magnifying glass. 

Bear with me here. What happens when you put a magnifying glass over a tiny bit of paper in the sun, and hold it still? 


Literal, fire! It is POWERFUL!!! Focused energy is POWERFUL!!! What happens when you hold the same magnifying glass over the same bit of paper in the sun, and WIGGLE it? 


Literally, nothing happens. No fire. No power. 

Photo by Alan Miller from Pexels

So, when I overload my plate, when I become stagnate because of an overfilled tray of tasks, options, goals, visions, ideas, interests and even passions in front of me (think plastic tray at a Smorgasboard — is it coincidence that I absolutely LOVED going to the smorgasboard when I was a child so that I could get small tastes of so many good foods, so many options?), I am ineffective. No power. No focused energy. No fire. I am wiggling the magnifying glass. Nothing happens. 

When nothing happens and I am ineffective, that leads to underlying feelings of inadequacy, because I am not really nailing, or becoming my best at any of these things. It leads to underlying feelings of unworthiness. Subconsciously, I tell myself “Well, I must not be worthy of any of these desires.” 

What is the TRUTH? 

The truth is: 

I can have ANYTHING I want… I just can’t have EVERYTHING I want, at the same time. 

It has nothing to do with worthiness or competence or skill or talent. 

It may seem like a burden, to not be able to have everything under the sun at the same time (maybe I want to be the absolute best mom I can be, best doggy mom, best pet-business owner, best personal coach, best martial artist I can be, martial arts instructor, top speaker,  awesome writer, awesome book author, leading workshop provider, landlord, Airbnb business owner, traveler, blogger, girlfriend, friend, spiritual seeker, etc), but it’s also a tool. 

I can use this overwhelm as a tool to remind myself to make choices that are aligned with my gut, with Spirit, with the Universal Mind. I can use this overwhelm as a tool to make choices and be POWERFUL. To make FIRE!!! 

I can use it as a reminder to check-in, take it into a sit/meditation and as a reminder to go with my GUT, WHATEVER THAT IS, with absolutely NO judgment! No judgment about what I think my priorities “should” be, or what society or culture says they should be. 

Because I know that when I go with my internal DESIRES, that is of God. That is given to me by The Divine. That is powerful. And when I tune in and listen to Spirit, that is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing on the planet. 

And the ironic thing is that other things tend to fall into place. Maybe not immediately. But things tend to fall into place when I am on purpose and doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I may have to get through a little chaos or opposition or obstacles, but time will tell and I know The Universe has my back. 

When I focus and move forward, knowing that I am absolutely worthy of every single one of my desires, passions, goals and interests (if not all at once)… I tap into my power. I tap into the power of The Universal Mind.

I harness the power of the sun to create fire. 

When I notice any feelings of unworthiness or overwhelm, I recognize them as a tool to put me back on track. I choose based on my gut, based on my Dharma. I commit.

I choose and commit.

I own and harness my power. 

I can have, and I am worthy of ANYTHING I want, just not EVERYTHING I want at the exact same time. 

I choose. I commit. 

Let’s go create some FIRE! 🙂 

Photo by Cullan Smith on Unsplash

Also take a look at these other great blogs posts by a few of my fellow Master Keyers:












Expand! (MKE Week 21)

I’ve known for a long time that when I feel fear (a fear that puts me on the edge of excitement, not one that is life-threatening), that is a signal to me to do the thing that is causing the fear. It’s easy for me to see how that expands comfort zones. I do the thing, and then eventually it gradually becomes more comfortable, which means my comfort zone has expanded until the new thing pops up that scares me.

I can think of some examples in my life showing this. I always loved martial arts. When I was in my 20’s I studied a form of karate. But I was always afraid of sparring and, although I still had to spar, we were given a choice to focus on Kumite (sparring) or Bunkai. To study Bunkai was to study the self-defense applications of the Kata, or form. There are several possible applications of various parts of the Kata. The Kata can be broken down in several ways, into sets of movements or series of movements. These series of movements can be interpreted in different ways and have more than one application. Needless to say, I chose Bunkai for my focus. 😀 It was my job to break the kata apart in different ways and to come up with various applications for parts of the kata. 

Decades later when I started martial arts in the school my kid had chosen, I knew I would no longer be able to avoid sparring. And, I knew that was meant to be. I knew I had to get more comfortable doing what scared me.

And so I stayed.

And so I sparred. 

At this school, in the beginning, I was also afraid of grappling. So I started going to grappling classes (Jiu-Jitsu). I remember a few people telling me they thought I loved it. I did not love it at first. I first chose it because it scared me. So I knew that meant I had to do it. 

On another note, public speaking is pretty darn scary for many people, and I was no exception. So, when I had my first coaching business, also decades ago, I decided to make public speaking my primary way of marketing my business and attracting new clients. That seemed incredibly scary. Which meant I had to do that. (Of course, marketing through social media didn’t really exist then either.)

Photo by June O on Unsplash

I’ll take a huge risk and put one out here I haven’t done yet, as a way of holding myself accountable. At a coaching workshop, also decades ago, we had to look into things that would be some of our biggest fears. One that came up for me was “improv.” This came up as one of my biggest fears. Standing up in front of others? (This was before I had done speaking.) Being entirely myself and having to think on the spot? I’ve never been good at thinking off the cuff. Being funny? I’ve never really been thought of as especially funny… Weird? Yes. But funny only to myself. (I do crack myself up.)

So, yes… “improv” is now on the list as one of those things to try. 

But what about the other “negative” feelings? What about when I feel hurt or angry or overwhelmed? How are those feelings tools to expand my comfort zone? Well, right now I am also looking at them as signals. Like signals on the dashboard of my car telling me that I need to stop and check things out or do something different. 

It takes much more these days to get me really angry or hurt, because I can more easily apply the law of substitution to little things that come up. Don’t get me wrong, I still get hurt feelings, but the intensity was far greater before I started the Master Key course. In this way, my comfort zone for “negative” feelings has already expanded since the start of this course. 

When something does come up that I do feel “upset” about, how is that “upsetness” a tool for expansion? 

Let’s look at overwhelm, for example. What if I look at overwhelm as a signal? Just as fear is a signal that I need to do the very thing that scares me… Overwhelm is a signal that I need to do the very thing that overwhelms me. BAM! I may need to stop and check it out and examine it more closely, just like I may need to look under the hood of my car (or have someone else do it… hahaha). Just like we look at what needs to be adjusted, oiled or replaced when a signal light goes off in our car, if overwhelm is a signal, then I need to look at my plan and perhaps see what needs some adjusting. Maybe I need to chunk the plan down into smaller pieces. Maybe I need to oil or focus on one part before the rest will work sufficiently. Maybe I need to replace a part of my current plan with a new strategy. Whatever I need to do differently, the overwhelm is a signal that I need to stop and check things out. Even more than that, it is a signal that I need to MOVE FORWARD. Just like fear does NOT mean that I need to run away from the fear stimulus, overwhelm does NOT mean that I need to run away from my goals, projects or passions. It simply means I need to check things out, adjust if necessary, and do the VERY thing that is causing me to feel overwhelmed and stagnant. When I face a fear and do the thing I’m afraid of, the thing eventually becomes more comfortable until the new fear arises. When I feel overwhelmed now, I am reminded it is a tool for expanding my comfort zone. I remind myself that after a while, my comfort zone will expand and the “stuff” in front of me now will no longer feel so overwhelming. 

Image by IamTimEre from Pixabay

Wham!!! There it is! This is HUGE for me! This is huge because IN THE PAST (I will now use the modifier, IN THE PAST, because I don’t want to tell my subconscious that this is something I still do) I succumbed to feelings of overwhelm often. I felt so overwhelmed with everything I wanted to do, that I procrastinated and did nothing toward any of it. However, now I know to look at those feelings of overwhelm as a SIGNAL to check under the hood, make small adjustments, and KEEP GOING! Just like when I feel out-and-out fear, I know I just HAVE to do the thing I’m afraid of — now when I feel overwhelmed, I’ll know that means I just HAVE to keep going and move forward. I have to. It’s a signal. I can’t ignore a signal. If I ignore a signal on my dashboard, bad things could happen. If I ignore this signal, bad things will also happen. Like dying with my music still in me. 

“Don’t die with your music still inside you.”

Wayne Dyer

What about anger, sadness, guilt and hurt feelings? How can these feelings be tools for expanding my comfort zone? 

In the next part of the course we’ll be going into some ways that those can be used as tools to expand comfort zones. For now, I will know that they are signals. Every time I feel one of these emotions, I will recognize them as a signal. Each of these feelings is a signal to stop and check under the hood, make adjustments, clean off the parts, possibly replace components, and then KEEP DRIVING. Keep on going toward my Vision, my DMP. 

Keep going, keep growing, keep advancing toward my true desires, keep expanding those comfort zones! 

We are meant to grow.

We’re meant to grow so we have something to give.”

Tony Robbins

Keep growing, keep glowing… keep going! 

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